Helping Children Move from Chaos to Calm
Children’s behavior is a form of communication. When children have tantrums or appear difficult, they are not trying to misbehave. More often, they are experiencing big emotions they do not yet have the skills to manage.
Emotional regulation is not something we are born with. It develops over time through guidance, modeling, and practice. Without support, children may struggle to build healthy coping skills as they grow.
The good news is that caregivers can play a powerful role in helping children learn how to manage emotions in healthy ways.
3 Steps to Support Emotional Regulation
Step 1: Name the Emotion
Ask your child what they are feeling. Younger children may benefit from using a feelings chart to point to the emotion they are experiencing. Naming emotions helps children begin to understand and regulate what they feel.
Step 2: Offer Calming Choices
Provide two or three simple coping strategies to help them reset. Offering choices gives children a sense of control while teaching regulation skills.
Examples include:
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Deep breathing to help calm the body and mind.
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Squeezing a pillow or stress ball to release tension.
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Swaying or gentle movement to soft music to support nervous system regulation.
Step 3: Reassure and Support
Let your child know they are safe and that you are there to help. Calm reassurance helps children feel secure and supported during emotional moments.
Supporting Families
Learning emotional regulation is a gradual process. With consistent support, children can build resilience, improve communication, and develop healthier coping skills over time.
For more information and family support resources, visit Military Family Life.